Where are the Men(tors)?

Proverbs 17:6 says Children’s children (grandchildren) are the crown of old men (grandfathers); and the glory of the children is their father. We need for the men to stand up and be counted. We don’t need any more men to take advantage of women for their own selfish gratification. We have enough irresponsible people making babies and not raising them. We need men of standards, morals and ethics. We need men that will take responsibility for the wrong and the right that they do. I didn’t say that you have to be perfect, but we need for you to be accountable for your actions. There are too many women raising our young men. Thank God for the women, but they can’t train a boy to be a man. Remember this saying and you will never overstep your boundaries, “You can’t teach someone what you don’t know, and you can’t come back from where you’ve never been.”

It’s a shame when there’s no influential male figure in the life of some of these grown male celebrities. Many times we see a big 300 lbs man waving to his “mommy” on television. That mother made more of a lasting impression on that young man than the one through whom God created Him, his biological father. Again, thanks to the mothers, I love my mother dearly, but men produce men. Males just produce babies and have the anatomical member that distinguishes them from females. But a man has a heart-felt conviction, integrity, and committment to God. We all know a personal example or two of males that were raised by their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, big sisters, etc. Women are naturally nurturers, and that’s a beautiful thing. But sometimes the nurturer holds on too long and the male child gets out of balance with his emotional development. The boy never becomes a man and more than likely he becomes a “mama’s boy.” He will eventually look for another woman to take care of him if he ever leaves his mother’s house. A lot of women who are insecure and want the physical presence of a male around will attach herself to this type of male, and the cycle continues. Are you noticing that I’m not calling him a man? Subconsciously, she’s still in a mothering mode, making excuses for this male figure. Why doesn’t he work or hardly work? Why doesn’t he have a car? Why is living with his mother or in your house and not paying any bills? Why is she always paying for the restaurant tab when they go out? It’s because neither one of them is use to being around a real man. He’s a mama’s boy and she’s a mother that won’t let go. Look, it takes two people to make a child, and it takes two people to raise the child, as well. Some of these women are doing the best they can in their situations, and I commend them, but the onus is on the males. The male is the producer, the female is the carrier. The life of the child is in the seed of the male. That’s your baby man! However, if the young man’s father isn’t around for whatever reason, another man in that child’s life, who has a vested interest in that kid’s well-being can step up and fill in from time to time. If there isn’t another man around, Jesus taught the church to take care of the widows and the fatherless. Where are the men(tors)?

Although it was spoken in jest, it was so profoundly stated in the immortal words of Fred G. Sanford, “it’s much harder to be a father than it is to become one.” God works through fathers, because earthly fathers are a physical representation of Him here on the earth. Fathers are, and should be, the embodiment of authority, leadership, protection and provision. A father isn’t the one who procreated with the mother. That’s just a sperm donor. A turtle can have sex. But a father, a man, is responsible for his family and his actions. A man doesn’t just make babies and brag. He doesn’t neglect and runaway from his responsibilities. A man faces his problems, asks God to help him and follows through. Men aren’t perfect, but men strive for perfection. Men get scared, but men aren’t cowards. Men cry, but men aren’t babies. Men get lonely, but men aren’t insecure. Men love their mothers, but men are mama’s boys. Are you teaching your son/protégé this? Are you teaching him how to be a leader? A woman can give birth to the next Rev. Martin Luther King. But who is going to train him? There are abilities in all of our children to be great. But who is going to bring that greatness out of them? Don’t let someone else train your child and do your job. It is an honor that God has bestowed upon you to take His heritage (children) to shape and mold them to be used for His glory. Be proactive and be an active part of your child’s life and upbringing. There are unique circumstances, but do your best to be there for your child, financially and physically.

Don’t let society and the enemies of your child’s destiny steal your future. When you train your child, you’re imparting the wisdom and guidance for the generations that will come through this child. In the Bible days, it was no small thing to be a man of posterity. Today, we have matriarchs, i.e., Madea, Auntie, or Big Momma, and that’s a beautiful thing. In the Bible days, they had the patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The lineage, the covenant, the heritage and the traditions were passed down through the men. We’re not doing that today. The children of today don’t know anything about history, not even recent history. Somewhere between the baby boomer generation and my generation, there was a great disconnect. The males are falling victim to the insights of Adolph Hitler. In his book Mein Kampf, Hitler basically stated that if you can control the women, then you have the children, so follow the males. This is no accident why society is so backwards these days. Males are following, yet the MEN, though smaller in number, are still leading and producing. Feminism is on the rise, and I don’t blame the women. I blame the males! Remember in the Garden of Eden when the serpent tricked Eve to eat the fruit? Did you notice that nothing happened when she ate it? The world was still in tact. But when Adam ate the fruit is when we experienced Paradise Lost, and the curse came. God put everything into Adam’s charge and then Eve was taken from his side and reunited with him. Men, it’s in your hands! You are an integral part of the success of your children, your family, your community, your nation, and this world.

Males have an identity crisis. A lot of times males identify with everything other than who they really are. Men come directly from the One who spoke all of this into existence. Men, you are NOT a monkey! You are NOT the descendant of a three celled amoeba from 13 billion years ago! You are NOT a loser! You are NOT a pimp! You are NOT a thug! You are NOT a gangster! You are NOT dumb! You are NOT a slave! But a lot of times our males act like the world perceives them. Herein lies the identity crisis. Who are you? Are you men? Where are you men? Are you men(tors)? Are you just a male or are you a man? Are you being and teaching your son/protégé how to be a responsible young man? Are you teaching your son/protégé how to think for himself? Are you teaching your son/protégé how to be a man of integrity? This isn’t to say that he’ll grasp everything right now, but the best way to grasp a principle is to see it in action and practice it. For example, integrity is an intangible concept; you can’t touch it with your hands and put it in your pocket. But a person can live a life of integrity in the midst of a person to emulate. What types of examples are available for your son/protégé to see everyday? I don’t care what you see on television, the radio, or what your guardians, teachers or some uninformed preacher says, You ARE created in the image and likeness of God with a divine purpose! You may be a prodigal son, but come on home, young man! Look around you. Look at the vastness of all that is around you. This was created for you. When God created the heavens and the earth and the trees and things, He said it was good, but when He created Adam, the Bible says God said it was VERY good. Man of God, you are a very good thing, and so is a Godly woman. Now go raise your very good kids and put a smile on God’s face. Live well.